where i'm spending the new year

here

more to follow later :-)

3 blessings:
safe travel
generosity
love

Not a Creature was Stirring not Even a .....

Happy Holidays and a Blessed New Year to all :-)

3 things:
my family
p's family
our friends

But baby it's cold outside...

Even in the snow, life is beautiful

Lady, the 'boss mom' of the herd



Baron and Buster

Beautiful Miss Adria...my horse's favorite 'girlfriend'

Colors, my 23 year old big baby and his friend Ace in the background


*** clearly, i have been playing with free photoshop.com

all you need is loooove

love is all you need

the holidays are fast approaching and p and i have done ALMOST all our christmas shopping. we've got one more gift card to buy and one gift card to send to his sister. we've spent hundreds of dollars (that we budgeted for! go us!) and haven't yet spent a dime on eachother. why? well...because.

you see, both of us look forward to christmas...we look forward to going to my parents house for the giant celebration of presents and food and love and we look forward to going to his house for the post-christmas relaxation, the gift exchange and the walks in the park by his house....but with all that, comes the realization that we don't really do christmas by ourselves until January. So p finally asked me today what I wanted for christmas when we finally get to celebrate after the new year....and my immediate answer was PHOTOSHOP. I covet photoshop. I lust for photoshop. I WANT it BAD.

but the thing is...he could get me nothing and my christmas with him would be perfect. he doesn't need to take me to dinner...to do anything special. because all I need...is love. and I know so well that i have that. I have his love. what greater gift could he give me?

9 days out of 10 i'm a normal rational human being...but that 10th day, damn can i be a basketcase. my anxiety will rear up and kick me in the butt...and of course i take it out on him. my worrying about things that might never happen make me fuss and fret and snarl...i can be bossy and i can be demanding and moody and in general just a sasspants. and...he still loves me.

i can have total meltdowns over my lack of confidence and fears and sulk and cry..and he still loves me.

i can be jealous and a jerk....and he loves me because of it.

that, my husband, is all i ever need from you.

i am SUCH a lucky girl.

so...just to keep this from being nauseatingly sappy.....i still reaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllly WANT photoshop. hint hint husband...hint hint!

blessings: this face is worth all 3

giving thanks

I figured that after my horrendously snark-filled post from the other day, I should get back on the track of being thankful for all that I have. And, internet,truly, I am thankful. I am thankful for all of my students, no matter how cranky they are, because as much as I sometimes hate them, I am so very grateful for the opportunity to play a part in their lives. I know without a doubt that some of my students are going to be the people that find cures for cancer, bring peace to the world and create the next great novel. I am thankful for my friends and my colleagues because they keep me going and keep me grounded. I am incredibly thankful for my family...I don't think I even need to say why. And, I am so very grateful for my husband. 3 years of marriage later, and I still look at him and think to myself, Thank you GOD for putting this man in my life.

So, our lineup for Thanksgiving is this...we're going up to Massillon for the traditional big family get together with turkey and stuffing and whatever else P's step mom whips up. Then I have to work at bbw on Black Friday for a few hours late at night. Then Saturday, I will be doing some cooking for my family and P's mom and her boyfriend. I am very much lookingforward to seeing my parents and my sister. It's just nice to be able to sit down together and eat a fancy shmancy dinner...but still be relaxed and have fun.

I'm planning on taking some fun pictures of my dog for our christmas card this year...so you will be my guinea pigs on which picture to actually send. Expect that post soon.

Oh, and last week...yeah, it was just a really really crappy week. I'm fine now. I have regained my cool that I temporarily lost. There's not much I can do when I've apologized, when I've explained, and when I've tried my best. So, at some point, I have to learn to let it go and not let other people's reactions bother me so much. I'm not very good at that though. I am so afraid of not being good enough, that when I get criticism, I tend to over-react. It hurts particularly most when I know in my heart that I've tried the absolute best that I could and still made a mistake, or still get disagreement over my decisions. It's like, I just want to shout "don't you SEE how hard I'm working to be a A) good advisor B)good friend C) good teacher, why can't you just UNDERSTAND that and not critique me!!" But, I know that that's not going to happen...and I know that criticism is how we grow. Doesn't mean I like it though.

Blessings:
BMW
MKA
CNM
LNF
SEP
BLA
RMA
EMH
SAS

in which Mt.St. Ann explodes

Here's the thing. I am a GOOD person. I am a NICE person. I try my absolute damndest do be a CARING person.

and yet, some weeks, it feels like the world is poo-ing on my head.

I don't understand how some people get a pass for their behaviors and are just able to act however they want whenever they want and nobody bothers to correct them.

Really...in whose world is it okay to send an anonymous scathing email telling me how much I pretty much suck because I wont cancel classes the day before Thanksgiving when THE WHOLE UNIVERSITY does not observe that wednesday AND your student's class got LAST WEDNESDAY off?

In what world is it okay to yell at me because your schedule is inflexible??

Why are other people allowed to flake out and make stupid mistakes and I'm expected to be understanding and kind and yet if I make a mistake I'm a terrible person who doesn't care?

Why do social rules apply to me and not to other people? I just don't get it. It's not that I don't think that I've stuck my foot in my mouth before and no one has said anything...I Know that I have inadvertently hurt people's feelings and no one has said anything because they 'understood' I was having a bad day... What I'm talking about is the situation where someone KNOWS how mean they are being, KNOWS that what they are saying is just not acceptable or appropriate and they just go right ahead and do it anyway. What is WRONG with them??? Never in my life EVER EVER EVER in my life have I blatantly just treated someone who was trying to HELP ME like they were dirt beneath my feet. If anything, I'm the one who goes back to secretly leave an extra tip when other people in my party are rude.

Seriously world....wtf.

*sigh*

pity party is over...thanks for listening. back to the line of disgruntled and angry asshats.

blessings:

my sister is the new Chi Omega president for her sorority
my mom loves being retired
my dad hasn't spontaneously combusted from the 2nd blessing :-)

O-H

we may not have the best quarterback

our coach may be a 90 year old conservative play calling man trapped in a younger man's sweatervest

but

WE'RE GOING TO THE ROSE BOWL

AND

I WAS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right. After the game, I went onto the field and stood on the block O, the 50 on the 50 yard line and sat in the endzone....

Word's can't describe. It seems a little silly to the rational and logical girl in me, to be SO very excited about touching the turf where a bunch of 20 year olds play a game...but, in reality, I'll openly admit, I was a little misty eyed :-)

GO BUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!