Wednesday, February 18, 2009

ass hat

definition of an AssHat: n. student who yells at me after class in front of 15 other students because, I the instructor (noun) went by the clock on the computer and on the wall in the classroom to start class at 10:30 and then counted him as late at 10:37 when HIS CELL PHONE told him it was 10:35 when he walked into the room.

My response: "D--- I understand that you disagree with the time, but I have always gone by the computer clock and the classroom clock and to my knowledge that is what time it is. Class starts at 1030 and the 5 minute grace period is designed for students who get lost on this large campus in their first quarter and it had expired by the time you came in."

My inner monologue: "how the hell am i supposed to know what time it is on your cell phone and why the hell do you think i should go by IT instead of the classroom clock? Everyone else was here on time oh and BY THE WAY you are a 2nd quarter freshman and this is the SECOND TIME YOU HAVE TAKEN INTRODUCTORY SURVEY SO STOP EFFING YELLING AT ME ASSHAT!!!!"

high school

i caught glimpse of death last night
his cold bones were gleaming white
his grinning face leered down at me
an omen of what was yet to come
of what could cease to be

A golden watch he held in his skeletal grasp
He opened the face and it creaked on its rusted clasp
He looked at my face and lifted back his tattered hood
and in his empty eyes I saw all my life, the bad and good.

He reached for me and touched my face
He whispered "not now, not this place"
and then he turned into the night and fled
and so ends my brief encounter with
the master of the dead.

Monday, February 16, 2009


= very dangerous piece of kitchen equipment.

no stitches required, but my typing might be worse than usual.

good news! Have found a location to board the horse!!!!! Now i just have to make all the arrangements, get his vaccines updated and all that jazz. I am not looking forward to trying to get him in a trailer...he hates them. I am not looking forward to separating him and the little minaiture horse he's lived with for the last 10 years. He neighs when they're in different fields...I'm kind of afraid he'll go into mourning w/o him. Hopefully being with 10 other horses will be okay...but, i'm a little nervous. :-( I'm looking to move him in May. So that will be an exciting month!!!

3 things:
making my husband happy by agreeing to do his 'boy stuff' on Valentines day
my parents coming up for lunch yesterday.

Friday, February 13, 2009



I took him to see Friday the 13th.

I am writing this from under the covers in my bedroom behind a locked door.

If there's a noise. I will be moving underneath the bed.

I will NOT be taking him to see a Haunting in Conneticut. The preview was terrifying.

If you don't hear from me in the next few days...assume that Jason Voorhees has taken my head.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009


seriously. the sports radio stations have been taken over by the latest breaking sh0cking report of yet another great american hero using steroids. i would like to bestow upon them the "just shut up award."

here is why:

first, does it SERIOUSLY shock you that this incredibly vain and notoriously prima donnaesque man would use steroids to stay at the top of his game? second, why does everyone seem so shocked but yet willing to believe that he 'suffered' from insecurity and the pressure to perform and live up to his giant multi-million dollar contract? why is the guy from the texas rangers so 'personally hurt' that a-fraud would have done such a thing while employed by him?


This is not something new. We all know that baseball is riffe with steroid use. I would be more shocked if you could have 100% infallible documentation that a baseball player had never used a performance enhancing drug of any kind legal or not! from redbull to anabolics, come on!

I love sports. LOVE them. I have never really played a sport competitively though unless you count my brief junior high stint as a bad ass volleyball player. My husband has though and I know that in his home town, it is not uncommon for parents to hold their children back from going on to 7th grade so that they can get one more year of size and 'maturity' before getting into the real tackle football. it's not why not give them an advantage? 5 hour energy isn't illegal...and it gives an advantage according to osi umenyura (spelling?) the 5 hour energy guru on tv. well, steroids weren't really routinely tested for, so why wouldn't a baseball player take that advantage. it's our culture! must be the best, must be the thinnest, must be this must be that.

The emphasis on being bigger, better,faster, stronger is nearly as dangerous for men as the emphasis for women on being thinner, thinner and thinner. In baseball and football you have steroids, in football you also have concussion syndrome from playing through repeated injuries, you have seriously dangerous weight gain for the linemen... gorging themselves to make it to college ball or the pros. because they NEED to be so large.

And to really seems like most of this pressure to be the best comes from both their own competitiveness to set records, but also from our desire to see the home run rather than the close game, to make our Pros into celebrity superstars. They get MILLIONS to play a game. MILLIONS. and the problem with this is that there doesn't seem to be any public support. Look at Vince Young from the Tennessee Titans, Brady Leaf, Michael Phelps and others...they get to the pros fresh out of college, and can't handle the pressure. They flake out, they use drugs, they can't handle criticism and the ridiculous expectations that their fans and the owners place on them....and they turn to steroids, they turn to anger, they turn to running away and talking about suicide. How about we put a counseling system in place for these young men? A better one that what's there, one that takes the stigma away from feeling pressured to be the best and not being able to handle it gracefully. And better yet, how about changing culture so it's okay for these guys to talk about it.

Will I stop buying football tickets or baseball tickets to try to end this cycle? No...I'll continue to pay exorbitant prices for my "American Pasttimes." Because I truly do love sports and i truly do enjoy watching the close games, sneaky wins and even the excitement of a blow out....but if my quarterback throws 6 interceptions on his birthday during the playoffs...I'm not going to really mind. I also wont be surprised or shocked if next year it turns out that good old Grady Sizemore's dabbled in some performance enhancers...There are 103 players on that list that they found Rodriguez's name on...i'd venture to say there's twice that that have used.

So seriously people....just shut up...or at least...quit acting like you're SO surprised.

3 things:
being able to watch sports and enjoy them for being a game
that my husband has no unrealistic expectations for our future children that might someday play sports
that there are some sports 'heros' that are clean, and are still talented.


Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. Princess Diana

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