man vs food

How is that man not 90000 pounds??? Have you seen this show? Gross. I love me some tasty treats, but some of the stuff he eats is just disgusting!!!

Clearly it's a rollicking wild evening in the Ominous house hold.

I have been largely absent from the blogging world because I typically blog on my lunch break at work, and pretty much since the last time I've blogged I've been working through lunch or not getting lunch at all. Our office is so incredibly busy this summer. Orientation about wore us into the ground. We processed nearly 20% of OSU's first year students through our office in the last 2 months. That breaks down to roughly 200 students per advisor plus all our other students who are sophomores, transfer students and international students. Soooo much talking. At the end of the day I don't even want to think in complete sentences let alone type anything!

Since I've been absent from blogging, I have done a little more than just wokr, I went to Lousiana to visit my friend "chuck". Her husband Lt.Baby is currently in Iraq w/the Army National Guard and she lives in this house that was built in the 1800s with Lt. Baby's father who is pretty much wheel chair bound. Her family is all in the Natti (shout out to Serendipitous) and can't visit right now so I went to go hango out for a long weekend and help her get some stuff done that she couldn't do alone. Lt.Baby's family is down there, but sadly though they clearly love Chuck, they dont....help the situation sometimes. You see Baby's mother died about 3 years ago and the family is very reluctant to change anything. Chuck lived in the house for nearly 2 years before she even felt comfortable putting some of her own wedding dishes in the cupboards. Prior to that they had just been using the mom's. I totally totally get respecting those who have passed away and sentimental value, but at the same time I don't think that I would ever feel at home without having any of my personal belongings spread around and all of Chuck's is STILL in storage because there's simply just not enough room in the house for everything. SO while I was in Natchitoches (Nack Uh Dish) I helped her clean out and empty the sun room of most of the boxed items that could go in the attic and shed and turned it into a liveable room she can eat in and study in rather than use as storage for the mom's stuff. We also cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned. We snuck in some shopping and definitely went out to eat and one night had dairy queen blizzards for dinner like we used to in college. It was fun. I really missed hanging out wiht her alot. We haven't really had the chance to spend a long period of time together in years. It's fun how we just kind of fell back into our old patterns of talking and doing things together. Friendships like that are kind of like your most favorite pair of worn in shoes...you can not wear them for a year, and slip them back on and not have to worry about blisters. One of the things I most appreciate about Chuck is that she puts the same amount of effort into our friendship that I put into it. She will always reach out to try to stay in touch whether it's throughe emails, cards, texts or phone calls. It's an equal friendship if that makes sense?
I feel bad for her because she's in a really difficult situation down there...she gave up SO much to move to Natchitoches. Her career...being close to her family...everything and as is typical in her life, she is getting taken for granted frequently. She is one of those people who is just constantly underappreciated and even sometimes laughed at because she's different. But really she's a fantastic friend and an even better person. I hope that things start getting better for her when Lt. Baby gets home in December.
I'm sure we all know someone like that..that WE feel is just amazing and want life to be better for. Hanging out with her for a few days has renewed my determination to make sure that the people in my life know how much I appreciate their presence whether it's letting people at work know that I recognize what they're doing to help our "team" or my husband to let him know how very much I adore him every day or my friends to let them know how big a part of my life they are.

blessings

2 way friendships
bomb pops-- i love popsicles
FOOTBALL SEASON IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer Summary?

I know it's not over yet...but here are my highlights...other than riding a horse again anyway (one of the ladies at the barn has been letting me borrow her horse while she's on vacation).

There was camping and Hiking in 100% humidity...











There were fireworks and friends








There were weird Ohio Storms and dogs




There was a trip to Tampa, Florida






And there's been a lot of love :-)



blessings:
Kind friends who let me borrow their furry lumps of horse :-)
Trusting that I will NOT melt in the wedding I have to go to tomorrow that's being held in the Franklin Park Conservatory Green House
being healthy :-)

yes...i'm alive.

Well, May ended...Thank God.
Thank you for your kind words on my last post as well. It was so sweet of you to comment.

June has gone better than the last few months. P and I went to Florida. He had a conference in Tampa and I chose to go with him to hang out on the beach and relax. It was fairly glorious! I ate too much, drank a little, sunned a lot and prayed that the oil would stay away. It was nice. P got a little bit of time to himself and we managed to go to the beach together twice and out to dinner a bunch. I'll post pictures sometime soon. I went to the Tampa Zoo by myself one really hot day and hung out watching the animals. I had a great time! It was really funny though because apparently it's zebra mating season and the male zebra was ummmm let's say rambunctious. I counted 5 children who got a rapid lesson in the birds and the bees courtesy of the Africa section of the zoo. It was quite funny.

And before I make myself sound like a zebra voyeur or something... I took a book with me to the zoo and found a little shaded overhang that happened to be across from the rhino and zebra habitat. I naturally gravitate toward the four legged animals and thought it would be a great place to sit and read and sip my soda. The R-rated activity just HAPPENED to be there at the same time. I didn't sit down and watch on purpose. :-) What kind of creeper do you think I am :-).

What else has been going on....summer orientation at work commences today. It's going to be fun to see all the new first year students. They're always so bright and shiny and excited to be here. It's refreshing after the burn out of spring where all the students are just counting down the days til the summer gets here.

OH! most fun thing ever. I'm doing this community agriculture thing with 2 of the people in my office. We're splitting a full share of vegetables. I am thoroughly in love with it. Last week we got real English Shell Peas which I haven't had since the last time I was in England and Kohlrabi. Have you ever had kohlrabi?? You must try it. I love it. It's forcing me to be creative in my cooking. I made a Japanese Noodle bowl for dinner the other night with sugar snap peas...it was SO good. This week I got a bunch of beets and have to figure out what to do with them since the hubster wont eat them.

So..that's my disjointed but slightly more positive update. I'll post Florida Pics soon.

3 blessings:
Kind people
rain for my flowers
sun for my face

ready for May to be over....

This has been a terrible spring. April sucked for various stupid and trivial reasons...and we thought it was over, but then came May.

My horse died.

He colicked on Derby saturday while I was in Kentucky...the vet did everything he could, but when I got home we weren't sure how things were going to go. The vet told me to wait before I made any decisions so we tried to wait it out. Then around 7 pm on Sunday, he took a turn for the worse and we called the vet to come out....but it was too late.

Death is not graceful. The body shutting down is clearly a systematic and slow process. Well...20 minutes....but that felt like forever at the time while we stood in the rain waiting for the vet to get there to ease what was inevitable.
Disney really skews your perception on what death looks like...it isn't like the movies.

However, here is the lesson that I was able to see clearly despite my tears. One, there will never ever be a time in my life where I doubt whether people are inherently good. My dad and mom came up...my mom knelt by his head and patted him until he was gone, my dad put his arm around me and held me while I sobbed and couldn't watch, my husband...he wouldn't leave my side while I said goodbye.

The people who own the barn that I kept Colors at did absolutely everything they could. They walked him, they brushed him, they called the vet out 3 times in 24 hours...They stood with me and my family and cried with us...and they let me bury him there. On their property, with his friends....and they're making him a headstone and have left their door open so that I can visit whenever I want. I have no words for how grateful I am for this. They had no NEED to be as kind as they have been...they've known me just under a year. But they did. I have no words.

Secondly, I've always questioned whether or not the body and soul are really two separate things. Like one was dependent on the other...or that when there is death it's all gone at the same time. Before Colors passed...he whinnied at the horses in the barn like he was saying goodbye, and then just before he lay down in the field, he looked at me....and I could see...that whatever used to be in his eyes that made him Aware, Alive...it was gone. That's when I knew. The whole time his body was shutting down, his eyes were vacant. He wasn't in pain (we had him pretty well drugged up against the colic pain but this was even deeper) he wasn't scared, his eyes weren't rolling in his head like when he used to get frightened. It was just a body shutting down. I think that there were moments when he was uncomfortable...breathing was hard, but he was accepting it. It worries me that he was sad...can animals feel sadness?

I think I put too much "people thought" into his brain...too much of my feelings projected onto him.I am afraid that he was upset, that he was scared...his body language didn't really show it that I could see and that is comforting, but I still worry that maybe....maybe he did.

My feelings are heartbreaking sadness, he was my friend, my secret keeper, my freedom for 19 years. Sadness because I would have so much preferred a Disney Movie death where he laid down in all his beauty and just fell asleep. Not in the rain, not with chaffed skin from rolling to try to relieve the colic pain before the drugs started working. Fear because I am afraid that a little piece of me died with him... the Ann with a horse...the Ann with a place to go when she was stressed...the Ann with something that was just hers and no one else's. And frustration for that part of my life being temporarily closed and not knowing when it will open again. And tiredness. I'm so tired of feeling these things...I want to have it all back again. And worry...if it hurts this much to lose a horse...what on earth will I do when people I love pass?

Colors was an amazing companion for 19 years. I can only hope that I provided him with a life that he enjoyed. That's every owner's hope when their pet passes away...but he saved my life when I was a sad, lonely teen. I truly pray that I was a good owner. I shouldn't even really say "own"...there's a quote that I once heard that said to ride a horse is to borrow freedom, and that's truly it. We are graced with the presence of these animals for just a moment, we can't ever fully tame the spirit or capture the freedom forever.

He was a good horse. Despite his anxiety...his fear of being away from 'the herd' and his high strung nature, he always did what I asked. He trusted me. Even on the last day, he kept walking around the field with me. He'd try to lie down (bad for horses with colic) and I'd give him a tug and say 'please please walk' and he'd keep going. It worries me that I should have let him rest.

Ultimately, I trust that there really was nothing that could have been differently. I asked the vet if I made the right choice to let him try to beat the illness...and he thought for a good five minutes before he told me that Yes, I made the right decision. Vets dont sugarcoat things...they wont try to keep an animal alive if it's suffering and the owner is prepared t omake the decision to put them down. They are practical and pragmatic and I trust them. But dear sweet Lord...it doesn't make it hurt any less.

Some of you will probably read this and think I'm a little crazy to be so upset about an animal...don't judge me too harshly. Horses are incredible creatures and I had this one for 19 years. I miss him.


The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears. ~Arabian Proverb



A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence. ~Pam Brown

God forbid that I should go to any Heaven in which there are no horses. ~R.B. Cunninghame Graham, letter to Theodore Roosevelt, 1917




God forbid I should ever go to a heaven in which there are no horses...

more labels

I am clearly a slow blogger....my 10 groups that i put people in kind of stopped at 5. I promised 10 and thus here are a few more....

The Empaths---the empaths are fairly similar to the comforters/fixers. The difference is that the Empaths don't try to fix your feelings...they just understand them. it's very comforting to know an empath because you can fumble through your words and verbal vomit all over them and they know exactly what you're really feeling. they listen for what you mean, not what you say. they also call you out...because they can see through your self righteous anger and get at the insecurity you really feel because they have felt it too.

The chronically unhappy- CUPS (chronically unhappy people) think that it's everyone else but really it's them. it doesn't matter what situation they find themselves in , or who they are friends with, they'll always be unhappy. the saddest thing about CUPS is that they wont ever realize that they have control of the situation. They can change their outlook, they can be more positive....they just are so externally focused they can't even begin to imagine that their unhappiness might come from within.

The smarties-- smarties are fun. I like the smarties. They're a little quirky, they just kind of live on a slightly different level than the rest of the 'normal' folk. They understand things and things come easily for them. Math is no problem, They get science, and they're a little dreamy. I like to be friends with smarties. The way they think fascinates me.


and that's all ya get for a friday night ;-) cut me some slack, my husband is cute, it's friday night and there's a fire pit outside with my name on it.


blessings:

getting to see my sister this weekend
that life worked out for my husband's job this week--nothin huge, just a policy disagreement with someone he supervises
my friend from elementary school...i'm glad we re-found eachother.

who are you?

so for most of my life i've classified people into different "groups". I think that it's pretty much part of human nature to do so. Sure, most of the time, when you think of "groups" you think of the negative sterotypes that everyone categorizes others with. For a PG example, think "jock" "cheerleader" "band dweeb".

These are not the groups of which I speak today. I have always put people into these types...I wonder where you would place yourself? I've got about 10 different groups that I categorize people in at any given time. Here are the first 5 for your thinking pleasure.

Watchers:

This is the group that I put myself in. We are the people who...notice things. We're frequently first to notice when two people are flirting.We pick up on the little things like eye rolls and sighs that the impatient person doesnt think anyone notices. We tend to be a little more withdrawn from the rest of the group because we prefer to watch than to do. We are frequently introverts by choice. We hear things, we see things, when you think that you're hiding them. We pick up on the little cues that are around us and make decisions based on them. We don't rely a lot on our gut instinct, we pay attention to what's going on and anticipate how our action will be received. We eavesdrop, not going to lie. It's not intentionally being nosy...it's just..that you're talking and you're sitting in the booth behind me and quite honestly, I have a hard time tuning you out because you're so...noticeable. People sometimes feel like they're under a microscope around us which is bad, but then at the same time, we catch the moments when you're struggling a lot sooner than others might.

The Jellyfishers:

These are my least favorite people in the world. I got the term from one of the Bridget Jones books... There you are swimming along and you think everything's fine and all of a sudden you're stung and searching for someone to pee on your leg. Jellyfishers are the people who seem friendly and nice but really they're just waiting until you least expect it to sting you with a potentially venomous bite. They are ugly and spineless and I find them revolting.

The Room Lighters:

Oh the room lighters. They are the people that other people want to be around. They are light and beautiful and attract others without even trying. I don't mean like, attract like 'damn baby you're hot'. I mean...people just want so much to have these people like them because they are so gosh darn fun. They are open and approachable and when you're at a party you can tell who they are because they are the ones that everyone else is smiling around. They make other people happier just by being there. I try to have room lighters in my life because no matter how dark your day is, when a room lighter walks into it...there's an invariable lightening.

The Perfect:

I am in awe of these people. They are the people who everything just seems to come naturally for. Everything is easy. They are impeccably dressed at walmart prices. They can articulate every thought without ever sounding like a babbling moron. They can be the perfect hostess and yet still chill with their friends and drink a natty light. They even have the audacity to have perfect eyebrows that don't need waxed or tweezed. (sometimes ;-) ) When you see their houses, they're perfectly decorated, never dirty and usually have white carpet. They don't sweat when they work out, they glisten. They're cool, confident and can eat spaghetti sauce in a white sweater without spilling a drop. How? How do you do it??? I don't get it.

The Comforters aka the Fixers:

The comforters are just nice people. They want to fix and to make it all better. I love these people but only in small doses because this is the category I like to put myself in 2nd after "watcher" and I think that when a comforter gets comforted it can be awkward because the comforter usually doesn't like to appear vulnerable. They can be a little frustrating because they want so badly for you to feel better that sometimes they stop listening and just try to fix the problem.

The Bulldozers:

Bulldozers are the doers. They just go go go all the time and break down any barrier in their way. Sometimes they can run over you because they're so worried about getting what they're thinking about accomplished. You want to be around these people when you want something done. Especially if you aren't happy with something. The bulldozers have no fear of throwing their weight around to get a better result. UNLIKE me who would rather avoid frustrating the waitress than sending back her boneless wings if they have the wrong flavor of sauce on them. I've seen Waiting one too many times, don't judge me. When a bulldozer is also a jellyfisher...that's when you REALLY gotta watch out.

3 things:

the sun has made a triumphant return
big lots! great deals on garden supplies!
waking up this morning and knowing spring is almost here before i even opened my eyes.

wow. i'm a bad blogger.

it's been a while! i just haven't really had a whole lot to say i guess. nothing has really been going on. plus, it's winter, and i kind of become a hermit in winter. i really dislike how cold it is so i get anti social and apparently that extends to blogging. however, for your viewing pleasure i am fiiiiiiiiiiiinally posting some rose bowl pics! So in no particular order becasue I think Blogger is stupid how you have to move things around....


This I believe is in Santa Monica on New Years Eve. We were walking and watching the sun set.

I am clearly spatially challenged as I point the wrong direction at the sign :-)

I took this myself. I think I look a little frightening but we were just goofing off in between races at one of the coolest places on earth.

SANTA ANITA RACETRACK!!! SOOOO FREAKING COOL!

so we went to this hotdog place that has been on Food Network. I will spare you the pictures of our food. It was.....awesome, but so bad for you. You might gain weight just looking at the pictures.

I made him pose in front of the ferris wheel on Santa Monica Pier

This was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

THIS is drunky mcdrunkerson. She was easily in her 40s, as was her blood alcohol. She climbed over the back of my seat, pushed me, climbed back over to her seat and passed out for the 2nd quarter, halftime and part of the third. Her boyfriend called me Babe and tried to steal my nachos. They are why people dont like ohio state fans.


O-H!

The rose bowl float!

P and I spent a day in Orange County visiting his little sister. It was really pretty and the weather was gorgeous. I on the other hand had a touch of the stomach bug. It was NOT an alcohol induced stomach bug, it was the glorious stabbing pain in the stomach please god let there be a bathroom near by stomach bug. this is why there are no pictures of me in Orange County :-) I was a pretty princess.

great movie lines that apply to my life

"i am disinclined to acquiesce to your request"

i feel that my students say this to me whenever they read an email from me requesting them to do something. today, i sent an important email out to 54 of my students requesting them to contact me. just for fun, i added a 'read receipt' so that i could track who actually read my email. So far, 7 have read it...0 have responded.

“Oh, but anyway, Toto, we're home! Home! And this is my room - and you're all here! And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again because I love you all! - And oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home.”

i am a homebody. i love my family to no end and wherever my husband and my family are...that's home. and rarely do i ever want to leave it :-)

“In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
I'm one of the rarer people in the world who believe that humanity as a whole...despite it's bad apples, has more good people in it than bad. I think people are misguided...but at their very core, they are inherently good. I think that is evidenced by the kindness that comes when you least expect it...when beauty blooms out of horror. Take this story for instance... http://www.readersdigest.ca/mag/2002/10/strangers.html

"We all go a little mad sometimes... Haven't you?

Let's be honest...who hasn't wondered if they could benefit from counseling at some point in their lives? whether it's anxiety, depression or just needing someone to bounce ideas off of...i think counseling is not something that should be looked down upon. i also really firmly believe that everyone has to fall apart at some point, to put themselves back together stronger and better than before. recognizing that you may be a little 'crazy' at times isn't a sign of weakness...but a sign of strength that you can say 'yea, you know what...i can be vulnerable, i can need help, i can't fix this on my own.'

"Sanctuary!"

I believe that everyone regardless of who they are, what they believe needs, deserves, has to have a "safe space". Whether that means that i put my personal beliefs on hold, to make myself approachable to a student or a friend in crisis so that i can be that safe space for them...or that when my husband holds me, i feel like nothing in the world can hurt me... sanctuary is vital.

“I guarantee that we’ll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart you are the only one for me.”

why does this apply to my life? well,because i really believe that marriage is forever. i'm not one of those people who thinks that people who have successful marriages are 100% in love with eachother all the time...but they LOVE eachother, and they stick it out through the hard times. a friend of mine had a great quote at her wedding that said "love is not an island, love is the tide..it ebbs and flows...but marriage, marriage is the island, the committment to be together through the ebb and the flow and make a firm solid life together is constant." I believe this because my parents have been married for 36 years...and i know, one hundred percent, that they haven't always liked eachother very much. but, they are committed to eachother, bound to eachothers hearts... and that to me speaks volumes about what love really means.

and lastly...on that note about love...
You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time.

he's not goin anywhere...but i sure am lucky :-)

oh! he got me photoshop...here are my attempts so far.