happy long weekend!

I am a worry wart. I know this. I worry about everything. I know it produces no positive outcome...but yet, I still worry. I think that there are people who are inherently bred to be worriers. We're the "what if" people. We're the "plan for the worst case scenario" people. Logic tells us that it's fine, that we're putting undue pressure on ourselves, but that doesn't take that feeling away. *sigh*

It's stupid stuff that I worry about. I worry constantly about whether I'm doing a good enough job at work. If the people I work with think I'm doing okay. I hate that I don't know all the procedural processes yet. I despise that I forget how to do certain things in the computer system. Instead of thinking to myself..."you've only been there for 4 months, it's okay" I worry that I'm not catching on quick enough and that my boss is frustrated with my slowness.

I hate that I feel like I need validation and that I want to know I fit in and am doing okay in this new place.

I hate change. It brings out all kinds of insecurity and parts of myself that I dont like.

Logic tells me that I've been through this before. When I moved to Athens and worked at OU, I spent the first several months VERY unsure of myself and my footing. P was deployed in England, my parents were 3 hours away, I had NO friends there. I was...the new girl and I hated it then as much as I hate it now. It's such a silly silly thing to worry about. And yet...here I am.

In Athens, it was a little bit easier because my "office" was a whole building and there were SO many people that I could talk to and make accquaintances with. I distinctly remember the first conversation where I actually felt like people were open to learning who I was. One of the campus police officers stopped by my office one night when I was unpacking stuff and stayed to talk to me and a security aid for an hour or so, just because it was a slow night and I was a new face on campus. It was the first time in MONTHS that anyone had just stopped by to say hi and "shoot the shit." That was much appreciated by my introverted, hesitant to strike up a conversation with anyone, self. It's important to me, more important than i'd like to admit, to be able to recognize someone and say "Hi ____" and call them by name. What can I say, I'm a herd animal. I don't necessarily need to be best friends with people that I work with, but like w/that OUPD officer, I would never say we were friends, but...it sure was comforting that when we'd run into eachother at the gym we could say 'hey' and call eachother by name. It makes it feel like you belong in the environment. Names and recognition are important.

The girls in my office are great...but they're already 'fitted' to eachother. I'm not quite yet. I'm the shoe that's not quite broken in. I hope that I'm not giving anyone blisters.

P's parents are coming down tomorrow. They were supposed to help us build our flower beds since I have a brown thumb and know nothing about flowers. HOWEVER I did not think realistically about the amount of football that is on tv this weekend. The odds that we are going to actually do yardwork are very slim. Monday we're going down to my parents house because my Uncle is here from England. It'll be nice to see him. We have SUCH a small family, with my mom being an only child and my dad's family being in England. It's really nice when I get to see some of them. I think the Pig is coming up to see him Monday as well, so that will be really really nice.

Pig is doing fabulously so far this semester. She's really enjoying her special ed classes (good thing! it's her major!) and is feeling pretty good about the General Ed classes she has to take...she's not excited about them, but she's not going to fail :-) I'm very very proud of her.

Well, P's out in the yard picking up dog droppings so that IF we do get to do yard work...his step mom isn't finding the dog's little presents with her gardening shoes :-)

3 things:

1: the rain this week, our grass is dusty.
2: when someone calls you by name...when P says "I love you 'Ann'" it seems to mean more than just 'love you'
3: kirk herbstreit.... i know, it's a sick obsession, but he is SO CUTE.

the great great outdoors

I have returned from the wilderness!

Okay...so it wasn't really THAT WILD. There were hot showers and potties within 30 feet of my tent and there was only 1 thunderstorm. I had SO much fun with P and the beautifulness that is Lake Codorus Pennsylvania.

The weekend started out well. We had dinner with MojoMom and her husband and son on Friday. We brought the chicken breast and they made pasta salad and grilled corn. Blue's salsa was a hit as well. It was oh so tasty. We followed up the dinner with a trip to Rita's for Gelatis. I had Mango/Blueberry with vanilla. YUM.

It was a good evening and MojoKid didn't puke at all! yaaay! Perhaps he's getting over his reflux problem. Now...if he would start crawling the Mojos would be super happy! I would be too, because then I wouldn't have to keep repeating to MojoMom that "everything will be okay!!!!" I'm still struggling with telling others to have faith that things will turn out allright when I definitely am a worrier.

Saturday the P and I got up super early and loaded the car and drove to Annapolis for a wedding. It was nice to see my friend and be a part of her special day. There were some definite things that made the wedding memorable. It was tropical/nautical themed so the groomsmen al had on khakis and navy blue blazers with top siders and Stav's dad had on a seersucker suit with a pink button down. He had a giant cigar through the whole reception and looked a little like a young Hugh Hefner since all the bridesmaids flirted and danced with him the whole evening! It was funny. Stav's mom and dad danced all night and were so clearly in love 30+ years later...it was just super cute. I love Love.

One guest, I'm not sure whose side she was on, wore a dress that COULD HAVE BEEN a wedding dress. It was tea-length, white lace. I was a little surprised that whoever this girl was would have chosen a dress that nearly matched the brides gown, to wear to the wedding. It was a little uncomfortable because people were staring at her. She did have on great shoes though!

P was completely uncomfortable at the wedding. This was irritating. I understand that he knew no one and I myself hadn't seen Stav for a few years. But dear GOD MAN. You would have thought that I was asking him to give an extemporaneous speech on foreign policy and domestic trade for how uncomfortable he was. He hardly spoke through the whole evening. The next morning he apologized for being such a "stick in the mud." Still though...it drives me nuts that he can be charming and social at HIS events...even when he doesnt know anyone (like work related events) but if it's something that is "MINE" he can't figure out how to put himself at ease and talk to strangers. His rationale is that if it's for his job, he HAS to do it... so he does. My feeling is...shouldn't you make the same effort at your wife's social functions that you do at your work?? I dont know...perhaps I'm rambling. I am not asking him to be the life of the party by any means...I wouldn't want that because I love that he's an introvert like I am...but my dear sweet baby jesus lyin in a manger...it gets a LITTLE aggravating when I am like "oh and this is my husband P....." and then I worry that they think he's mute or socially backward.

I think it's something that will get better as he 'matures.' I remember when I was younger, I had a really hard time in certain social settings...still do...but at least now I've learned to make an effort to fake being at ease! I just wish he wouldn't make excuses for it... like "I'm just shy. It's hard for me." SO???IT'S HARD FOR ME TOO!!! SUCK IT UP AND WALK IT OFF! patience...patience...patience.

What's really frustrating me about teh whole thing is that P is SUCH a great guy...i want my friends to be able to see how intelligent and sweet and amazing he is. How're they supposed to do that if he won't freakin interact????

gah. men.

I keep having to remind myself that he's never really HAD to put himself in awkard situations like weddings or public-schmoozefests before so this is all new to him. I do wonder how one can be 28 years old and have been able to completley avoid all settings like that for the better part of your life.

Anyway, things got much better when we went camping on Sunday. It was a gorgeous day and we hiked for over 5 miles, then grilled hot dogs and s'mores over the campfire. Monday morning we grilled bacon and toast and then it poured down rain and thundered for an hour. Post-thunder, we rented a pontoon boat and went fishing. After 4 hours, I had caught NOTHING and neither had P but we had a blast and in the last hour we each caught 3 sunfish. Mine were bigger ;-) I also think I snagged the Loch Ness Monster or a relative....I caught something so huge that I couldn't reel it in and my line snapped and went away, hook, sinker and float!

Monday night was a TERRIBLE night for sleeping...it was windy and tree branches were falling all over and whatever was blown in the wind started me off on a gigantic allergic sneezing fit. Claritin didnt even phase it. I was a swollen snotty mess. Ahhhh nature, how I love thee.

Tuesday morning we drove home and then I went to pick the dog up...P was supposed to go to a meeting at work at 5:15...but I kind of drove of with his keys. Luckily his boss was forgiving!!!!

All in all, it was a really good time. It was really nice to be alone with P with no real responsibilities for a couple of days. I miss living in Athens where he and I could easily go hike in the evening out at Hocking Hills and the surrounding area. Downside of moving back to a big city...nature activities take planning.

Well, my least favorite student is about to come in...so I best go prep.

Hope you're all well :-)

man was i a snarkpants!

i feel better.
much much better.

i have not been sleeping well for the last few days and yesterday and the day before i was just SNARKY. ridiculously snarky. yesterday was particularly bad because the night before, P was apparently chasing squirrels in his sleep. yes, P, my husband. not sonneigh the dog. I was up half the night because P was literally flailing and kicking ALL NIGHT!

So yesterday, we were supposed to go to the gym...but didn't. We took Sonneigh to the dog park and then got pizza. It was possibly the best pizza in the world. Their sauce, I'm sure, is canned but it was OH so good. Crispy crust, green pepper, onion and pepperoni. Ohhhhh it was heaven. I am sure I've gained 5 pounds since yesterday...but this might be one time that it was entirely worth it.

I was having some serious allergies after the dog park, so I took some night time allergy meds after dinner and I had the most amazing night of sleep. I'm sure that I had my tongue hanging out, snoring and drooling all night, but it was quite possibly THE BEST night of sleep in the history of sleepage. I'm a delicate pretty princess aren't I?

More good news on the good news front. So, the vet program at the college that I work at has this program through their vet clinic where they take dog and cat blood donors. That's right, dogs and cats need blood transfusions just like people do when they have surgery or have something wrong with them. Apparently, there is a real shortage of doggy-blood in my state so they advertised in the faculty/staff newsletter that they were accepting donors. This tugged at my heart a little bit, so I called to find out what the requirements for eligibility were and found that Sonneigh met all of them to come in and be screened.

Last month, we took him in for a "day at doggy daycare" and they took some blood and put it through all the tests to see if he could be a universal blood donor. That's right, dogs have positive/negative/universal blood too. Yesterday the lady from the blood bank called me and said Sonneigh can donate! I was super excited because it's a totally safe and comfortable procedure for the dog, he gets played with all day and he can help save countless numbers of doggy lives! THEN she told me about the benefits! My dog will now get, free food,free flea and tick meds, free heartworm pills and free vaccines, for as long as he donates in this program.

OH MY GOSH. I just wanted to do a good deed and save doggy lives....this is awesome!

This will probably be my last post for almost a week, I'm going camping this weekend and part of next week. Wish me luck! It's the first time I've ever been!

3 things:

1: there are great people in the world who try to make life better for animals
2: it's friday and i get 4 whole days off
3: that no one on here has criticized my lack of capital letters and horrific grammar. i'm actually a good writer with a good grasp of English grammar...but this is my 'stream of conciousness...' and i think in run on sentences and w/o caps!

the simpsons...

Back when I was in grad school, I had a full quarter of classes and helped to run a 500 first-year-student residence hall. Down-time was scarce. I loved my students and my staff...but alone time was truly hard to come by. I found myself eschewing dinner w/the staff and with friends and would run through the dining hall's express version and taking it back to my apartment (in the res hall) and eating dinner while watching The Simpsons. 5 o'clock-6 o'clock became sanctuary. Before that time, I had never really enjoyed the Simpsons. I mean, if you do the math, the Simpsons had been in existance for about 10 years before I found them. That hour long block of animated nonesense was the most wonderful, relaxing, amazing hour in my entire day. I was ALONE. It was QUIET. Just me and my little friends from Springfield. Sometimes P would join me for dinner...but usually he had class.

Tonight, I was reminded of that hour of alone time because P has to work late and I'm eating my nachos and salsa alone for dinner. I'm in front of the TV, computer in hand, Simpsons locked on the TV. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Bliss. Nothing's changed. It's still lovely and quiet with noone else around. The subtle commentary on the follies of human nature still make me laugh...and the observations are still true.

For example: Bart Gets an Elephant

"Well, animals are like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated...but, like people, some of them are just jerks. "

It's true. Some people....are just jerks. Keep that in mind friends when you're looking for answers as to why someone's behavior hurts you or frustrates you. It can be as simple as...some people are jerks. It's nothing you did. There's no reason for you to feel bad. They're just....mean.

My dog is sitting on his little bed by the window...he's making little whimpering noises. Don't worry, he's okay. He just knows that usually P is home by now and he wonders where he is. How's that for unconditional love and devotion? Sonneigh will sit in that same space and he'll wait until he sees P's car coming up the street. He'll then get up, wag his tail madly and run to the kitchen door as soon as the garage door goes up.

I kid you not. When P still had his jeep, the dog would be able to tell when he was coming home as soon as he got within a mile of the house. It's kind of scary. The sad thing is that Sonneigh is MY DOG! I got him when P and I were living in different cities. I do understand the appeal, P's pretty cute. I hope that's not why the dog fawns over him though :-P

I have to present at our last orientation tomorrow. Wish me luck!

3 Things:

1) soft serve ice cream
2) jeni's splendid ice cream
3) whoever invented ice cream

U-haul can bite me.

So, the people at U-haul did their best this weekend to ruin my happy outlook on helping my parents move into their new house. Well, U-haul is not completely to blame...many factors led to me taking out my frustrations by yelling at P about Broccoli in the grocery on Sunday.

Let's re-cap. Mom asked if we could use our U-haul (rented to pick up couches generously given to us by parents.) Of course, given that they were being generous, I absolutely did not mind. Asked mom what it was that needed moved, "oh just our beds so that we can sleep in new house tonight." Sure. No problem. Reserve 10 foot truck for said moving excursion. U-haul says they will call us on Friday to let us know where and when to pick it up. No call. No call. No call. Saturday 9 a.m. P and I leave to go to parents....still no call from the U-haul. SO P genially calls and says "ummm we were wondering when we could pick up the truck." The U-haul people say 'oh well we just opened, so we're not really sure where or when yet....but we'll call you." An hour and 20 minutes later we arrive at the parents house. Still no call. We begin helping mom move some things around and she plaintively asks if we know when the truck will arrive... I say no.. she asks if SHE can call. SIDENOTE: my mother is a force to be reckoned with. It is really difficult to tell her no or to stop her from getting what she wants. she's a great person...just don't get in her way. She WANTED that truck...so I let her call. She gets put on hold...don't put my mom on hold when she has things she needs to get done. The U-haul people tell her that they aren't actually sure that they can get us a truck. WHAT????????? The problem seems to be that since we reserved a truck for a one-way trip (driving from parents, to our house and then dropping truck at a location close to our house) this is a problem. All of the trucks in the 40 mile radius of where my parents live, MUST be returned that evening. Were they ever going to call and tell us this? Apparently not. I guess I just don't understand how a business can be run that way...my fault. My mom tells the Uhaul people in no uncertain terms that we WILL be getting a truck and it WILL be for the one way price. Thanks Mom :-) They tell her that's fine, they have a 15 foot truck that they can give us if we are willing to drive it back tonight. Arrrrghhhhh. FINE...We'll drive it back tonight.

And so P and my dad go pick up the truck while I sort through some stuff that needed to be put in the auction. They arrive back with the truck and I think to myself, you've got to be kidding. This truck looks like it's been through a war. Clearly someone did not read the instructions about not trying to fit the truck into a space lower than 11 feet high. Or 8 feet wide. It has gigantic scratches and dents like someone tried to drive it into a too small tunnel. It's okay though because the bigger problem is that the over-drive sounds broken, it struggles up hills and halfway into the drive to our house, the check engine light came on and we STILL HAD TO RETURN IT THAT NIGHT.

Whatever. Did I mention that where we had to drop it off was in a very very not safe part of downtown????

It's fine...it's a truck...it'll serve it's purpose which is to move my mom and dad's beds and our couches.

Mom goes to new house to coordinate the arrival of some mini-vans loaded with stuff. I learn that mom has not discussed with dad what is going and what is getting put in the auction. So he cannot tell me what to pack and not pack.I call and ask about these beds, which ones are they taking. Mom says Guestroom and Bedroom with mattresses from Pig's room and my room. Okay, load those into truck. Call mom back. Okay, truck's loaded....heading over to new house. "OH would you mind carrying all the boxes from the landing down the stairs and putting them in the moving truck too?" Ummm...what? What are the movers you hired for Monday going to do??? "well, the people who bought the house want to mvoe some things in today, and they need an empty room so if you could just move things that'd be great...bye!"

FINE... WHATEVER

Load the landing into the truck. Call mom back. What do you want done with the other mattresses, are they going in the auction? "Well actually, I've changed my mind...could you get the other 2 mattress out and swap the one from my bedroom with the one from yours? I like it better." WHAT???? Are you KIDDING? "Well FINE Ann Ominous, if it's too much trouble I guess we'll just have to buy a new one."

UUUUUUURGH....

SO P and I shift the boxes and dig the mattresses back out of the truck, put the new mattresses in the truck and reload the boxes. Take all the stuff to the new house, unload and set up beds etc. Get ready to go home... "OH, would you mind loading the love seat into the minivan so your father and I can unload it tonight, so we have somewhere to sit?"

Okay. No problem.

PROBLEM. Love seat is a reclining love seat, the equivalent of 2 reclining chairs, Each chair weighing approximately 300 pounds. Kid you not. Now IF P and I can get it into the van...how on earth are my 114 pound sister, 58 year old mother and 70 year old father who just had triple by pass surgery in April going to get it OUT of the van.

They're not.

Pig, P and I take the couch to the house and unload it so that I don't have to feel guilty when one of them ends up with a hernia after trying to move said couch.

P and I finally get to go back to our house with our couches, unload the couches and then begin the hour and a half drive back to parents town, drop off the truck in the scary area of downtown and then drive BACK home.

Who drove 522 miles in 3 different vehicles this weekend? That'd be this blogger right here.

Thank God we have a Prius or we would have been gas-poor this weekend.

It seems somehow that this could have just gone a little bit smoother...I don't know. Perhaps I'm just to uptight. Need to relax...that's it.

Sunday, P and I go to the store...I'm still a little exhausted and cranky from having carried furniture, boxes etc. in the 90 degree heat while trying to remain calm with my much loved by high maintenance parents. We get to the check out line and I remember that I was supposed to have gotten broccoli (P's favorite) so I could cook a nice relaxing dinner when I got home. "P, will you run and get the broccoli I forgot?" His response was along the lines of "honey would you mind very much getting it yourself because I too am frustrated, tired and sore and just want to go back home to nap and relax, i'd so appreciate it really really I would my best friend and soul mate whom I would do anything for." Or....not. And so began the hour long argument over broccoli. or maybe the reaction to forgotten broccoli....

At some point...I need to learn that when frustrated, I should A) deal with frustration in a more productive manner B) take out frustration on the appropriate person or not at all C) it's not really worth getting frustrated...so just relax and smile and be patient.

I ran very slowly for a full half hour yesterday and my feet didn't go to sleep! Yay! Perhaps my new Doctor Mama inspired technique is working.

3 Things:
1) that P may have grumbled and griped and complained about helping parents move this weekend...but he was right there beside me helping.
2) that my parents aren't going to be in a house in the middle of nowhere with 9 acres to maintain anymore and they can enjoy themselves a bit more
3) that the salsa Blue suggested was utterly amazing and I can't wait to go home and eat a giant bowl of it.

THANK THE LORD THANK THE LORD!!!

MY PARENTS ARE CLOSING ON THEIR HOUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AT 2:00 THEY CLOSE ON THEIR HOUSE!
AT 4:00 THEY CLOSE ON THEIR NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel of dark frustration with my mother!!!! *happy dance*!!!!

This whole ordeal has been ridiculous. you would have thought that they were negotiating peace for the Middle East and not just giving up 9 acres to move to 1 acre w/pool. lessons learned, lessons learned.

I am having lunch with MojoMom today, I'm excited to get out of the office for a little while. It's such a pretty day out and I'm definitely in Friday mode. MojoMom and I have been friends for a really long time. We "divorced" for a while in college due to irreconcilable issues. It's funny how at the time, we were not mature enough to reconcile our problems, but now post-grad, we are able to pick up right where we left off so long ago. It's not an easy friendship ever, but we challenge eachother to grow every day so it's a good one. We've started having lunch a couple times a month since her job is relatively close to my job. It gives us both a little break and lets us catch up since with her crazy schedule, we don't have time to do it in the evenings alot. Want OUTSIDE NOW!!!!

I have my windows open in the office today, the tree outside is already starting to fade in color. I think it's my first sign that fall is approaching. I read in someone's blog the other day about how they hate fall, because it's the signal of the 'dying'. They didn't like how there's little sun and night reaches in earlier and earlier. Personally, I love it. I do wish that there were more daylight hours and I feel for all of those with Seasonal Affective Disorder. But for me, Fall is the best season. It's the start of a new school year where all my students come in fresh and excited and heady with anticipation of what's yet to come. I especially love the first year students. Can you remember how excited you were for summer to close and fall to begin? Oh my gosh...for me, it was like waiting for the biggest concert of a life time, the best ride in the park, it was GREAT. It was that moment where you KNOW with everything in your being that you're about to witness something truly amazing, but you don't know what it will be or how to even prepare for what you're going to experience. I get reminders of that feeling every September when my newbies come in. They are a little pensive about what's yet to come, but overall..they are SO excited. I wish I could bottle the enthusiasm they have at the beginning of the year and hand it back to them in March when it's rainy and gross and they hate their roommates and their profs. For me, Spring is the wet season, the winding down season, the oh my god why can't it just be summer so i can lay outside and relax and recharge my batteries season.

Fall also means the return of the best sport in the world COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it. I don't care what team is on, though I do love MY team, I will watch any college game. Until you've been in a stadium filled with 110,000 other screaming crazies, high fiving drunken alums and hugging random strangers...you don't know what FUN is!! My beautiful Jake Delhomme and the Carolina Panthers were on TV last night!! I don't often get to watch them, and I was so tired I only made it through about half the game because of the rain delay. It was still fun to watch though, Jake's not really cute in a conventional way, I just love him because he gets SO excited. His passion for what he's doing comes out when he completes a good pass or wins a close game. It's so fun to watch. I can't imagine that he'd be a good poker player, you can read every emotion on his face. P and I are going to a high school scrimmage tonight because P's hometown (birthplace of high school football *hint as to where we live*) is playing a team in our area. It's a weird random chance that it's happening, so we're going to go and see what P's HS's new coach is like and see how many other fans of this HS actually show up. It should be a good time.
Blue whose blog I've lurked at for quite some time because she's an amazing writer and has been to cool places and has great taste in many things, has a recipe for salsa that I cannot wait to try. If only we didn't have to spend Saturday at the parents...I think I would be salsa-ing it up all weekend. Mmmmmmmmm tasty.

I need some lime tortilla chips. And a diet coke.

yum. hungry.

3 Things:

1) I'm grateful that my husband is making me go to the gym tonight after HS football. We didn't go yesterday and I ate curly fries. They were SO good but...the jeans are a bit tight today.
2) For the thunderstorm last night, I was really starting to get worried about our grass.
3) For the bank that accepted the people who're buying my parents' house and gave them a loan...you have no idea how much I'm thankful for them. If they had lost the deal on the house they're moving into...I think I would have had to get them Prozac.

Don't POKE the TOMATOES!!!!

Rule Number 1: When shopping for fruit and vegetables in the grocery, please do not POKE the tomatoes to see if they are ripe. The same rule can apply to all soft fleshy fruitages. If you POKE THEM they will A) Bruise and B) you will leave creepy fingernail indentations all over the fruit, making them look like they are covered in a pox of parentheses. You may GENTLY squeeze (if you feel the fruit collapsing in between your vise grip, STOP applying pressure immediately) a tomato to see if it's ripe if you really can't tell by looking at it and/or smelling it...but please, I beg of you, DO NOT POKE MY TOMATOES!



Today is a slow day at work. Summer is so quiet here. I can look out my window and count the number of people walking by in an hour and not hit double digits. It's kind of funny when you think that this place is a city in itself. I mean, it has it's own zip code for crying out loud. I had two students this morning, but for the rest of the afternoon my schedule reads as a giant free space. What to do with myself!? Even my friendly squirrels who pillage the tree outside my office window seem to be in hiding today. I think they may have officially eaten all the nuts growing on it and have moved on to more nourishing branches. I'm relieved and sad about this. Sad because I really did enjoy watching them and listening to them as they ran through the boughs, but relieved because one particular bough is very close to my open window and Fred kept getting closer and closer. I do not need to share my office with any 4 legged critters!

I adore my office. I think that the people I work with are wonderful. I am the new girl (only been here 2 months) so I get a little bit nervous about whether I fit in. But I really do admire and respect these women (and 2 men!) and think that they are incredibly talented. It's strange being the only new person and trying to 'break into' the circle of friends. I know it takes time and that they do probably like me. I always feel a little bit awkward in these situations though! I can't wait until they fill the other empty position so that I'm no longer the "newest-newbie."

I have recruited my friend J-Pa to join me in my blogging about positive things endeavor. She used to blog and then quit when she realized her blog was a rant. So I asked her to join my force of goodness and be my blogger-friend! She put up her first post yesterday and it made me laugh. She's such a kind person, I enjoy her.

My poor friend Llama is having some difficulties and I wish that I could just make all her problems go away because she is such an amazing person and wonderful friend, she doesn't deserve the hurt and frustration that is happening. It seems that for myself and my friends, life happens all at once. We don't do anything in halves. If we're going to make changes, we do it all in the span of a couple months. If bad things happen to us...it's one right after another. I think it's really someone's way of trying to get us to learn to trust that everything "will be okay." I just want to reassure her that it will be...but when she asks "how do you know?" I can't answer because I don't know! I worry all the time! I NEVER trust that it'll be okay! pot! this is kettle calling!

P and I went to the gym yesterday and I listened to this nutritionist that worked with the Biggest Loser for a couple seasons. Basically it boiled down to "eat less. move more." Duh. I definitely need to move more. I've been reading this blog http://doctormama.blogspot.com/ and she gives really good advice on how to start to learn to love to run. My sister the Pig is a runner and she SO enjoys it. I want to learn, but I think I'm going to try Doctor Mamma's strategy rather than what I've been doing because my way is not working. First step, stop finding excuses why you don't want to go to the gym!! Need to learn to tell myself to stop whingeing about being tired and get up and go because I know that when I do, I am less tired and feel better about myself! Move more! P is good motivation. He's h-o-t hot ;-)

Random trivia...did you know that the first winner from Biggest Loser is now back to his original weight? All that emotion...for naught.

Things I'm grateful for today:

1: heirloom tomatoes, they're fun and different and oh so tasty with a little balsamic dressing
2: when P and I get home from work, we always lay on the bed for about 10 minutes before changing clothes and catch up on our days. It's a great de-tox.
3: I've been priveleged to meet and know people like J-Pa who have taught me lessons in compassion and kindness...through them, I think I'm becoming a better person.

testing...one two three?

This is my very first foray into blogging. I'm not really sure why I am, or really what I want to accomplish. Generally, I think it's because I read everyone else's blogs on my lunch break and I feel a little bit guilty not giving back to the internet community. I want to make this blog about happy things...joyous things. Things that make me smile and laugh out loud. More importantly, I dont ever want to take anything in my life for granted. I'm trying this because taking things for granted is something that I have been noticing people doing more and more these days. I cherish every bit of my life and everyone in it. I know that life changes so very quickly, I want a way to hold myself accountable...to remember how blessed I am.

I hope that the 'blog' community will assist me with these goals...perhaps it could be a place that people visit daily and share little bits of hope and laughter to brighten eachother's day. A place where others can share their blessings and help eachother not take them for granted. Big dreams...

Today, in my first blog, let me tell you just a bit about why I love my life. I work for a large large university as an academic advisor. It's an amazing job! I get to sit down with people every day and help them navigate their lives...figure out what they want to do and how they are going to get there. I may never make millions, but I'm rewared every day when I see someone smile because they just realized that they have a future and they just might be good at something. More important than where I work is who I love... I am married to the most amazing man in the entire world, I shall call him PuzzlePiece for the purposes of this blog. You always read about people who never felt whole or happy til they met their significant other...that's not me, I was always happy, always felt complete... but then I met P and entered this whole new realm of love and happiness. He finishes the puzzle of my life...makes me feel as if I'm where I'm supposed to be. I never knew I was missing anything...but found that he completes the picture. He brings things into sharper focus. I am infinitely grateful to Fate, God, whoever arranged our meeting because though it was not love at first sight, it was random chance that it worked out how it did. Chuuuuheeezzzey, I know.

P and I own a fantastic dog who is something out of one of those feel good movies about dogs, think The Incredible Journey and the like. He is "a dog". He fetches, doesn't bark, is loyal and I'm currently signing him up to be a doggy blood donor through my university's amazing Vet porgram. Stop laughing...it's a really good cause!!!

I have been blessed with a really special family who has quirks like you would not believe, but they also are my strongest supporters and my favorite people in life. My sister (the Pig) is a sophomore in college and my parents are 58 and 70 years old. We are a non-traditional family in that and that my father is originally from England. I am going to attempt to make all posts positive about the family :-) We shall see how that goes as they do regularly drive me crazy.

I have three best friends, Llama, Chuck and MojoMom. I hope that one day they find this blog so that they know how much I truly love them...and that they know that anything I write in here is to be taken with a grain of salt. I am blessed to know these three diverse and talented young women and hope that someday I'll be able to find a way to let them know what an impact they've made in my life.

Finally, three things I'm truly grateful for today...

1) that I am where I thought I would be in life one week after turning 30.
2) that I get to go camping for the very first time in less than 2 weeks
3) that my parents have ALMOST moved into their new house...packing is nearly done. thank you thank you thank you.